New Posts at Psychology Today

This one's about when the obligations of a parent stop.

This one's about whether parents give their children "the gift of life."

1 comment:

s. wallerstein said...

There seems to be difference between my obligations towards a minor child and an adult child.

I'm obliged towards a minor child whether they mess up their life or not. If they make stupid decisions or if they get into trouble with the law, I'm obliged to back them up. That seems to be true for my children until the age they leave the university, more or less. I may not approve of what my 19 year old kid is doing with their life, but if they get arrested, I have to pay for the lawyer.

For adult children, I'm willing to help out as long as I approve of their lives. If my adult child gets into a stupid business deal due to their own greed, I'm not going to go bankrupt myself just to bail them out, although I'd probably make sure that they don't starve to death. If they break the law, I might pay for the lawyer: it depends on what law they break, but I can think of cases when I wouldn't.

My obligations towards my adult children are more like my obligations towards close friends than my obligations to minor children or to children before they leave the university.

Adults make their own decisions in life, and if their decisions seem bad or stupid or just plain wrong, I feel no call to back them up.